What are you searching for?
What do you live for?
What makes you get up in the morning or keeps you going when the struggles of life hit you HARD?
It may just be your job or your fear of getting fired that gets you out of bed. The need to earn money and survive and provide.
You may be searching for pleasure and seek fun and enjoyment in everything you do, because you know that life has dark times and you'd just rather not have to deal with that. You may live for yourself. Wanting to make yourself happy is your priority.
Yet.. are you truely happy within?
Every person has a purpose, a talent and amazing abilities.
"Comparing" and "distinguish" between your neighbour and yourself is useless... We all do it! It's almost natural to us, but there is really no benefit or reason for doing so.
We all are on our own path and our own journey. We walk at OUR pace. We learn, we move, we love and live the way that is comfortable for us.
Life is YOUR journey, no one can take that away from you.
When you look to your side you see people moving faster, learning better and achieving more. You look back and see people walking backwards or stuck in a pit for the time being. And that is okay! We have all been there.
I like to compare this to a class room. There are multiple learning style ( auditive, visual, kinesthetic ) and different learning paces. Everyone is individual, yet the teacher often teaches in ONE way to ALL students, expecting everyone to follow at the same rate.
I am a slow learner. It forced me to be more self-disciplined in school to not fall back. Yet, why do people who have a slower pace of transforming a theoretical idea into their own language, feel stupid in comparison to fellow students?
Why do we believe that slow is bad and fast is good?
Is this because of the world's need to gain power and money? And time is money? Being slow wastes energy and time and eventually money.
What if there are benefits to slow learners? Maybe they take longer because their brain functions in more creative ways and abstract ideas seem like a foreign language to them. Maybe they are such deep thinkers that adding something new into their skill set takes them longer and takes up more energy.
Why do we expect so much from each other when we KNOW that we are not and CANNOT be the same. We aren't robots or machines. Our individualities are what makes our unity beautiful actually, yet there are those high expectations...
Expectations of
- learning as fast as others
- working as precise and clean as others
- thinking as wise as others
- being as emotionally mature and stable as others
- living as rich as others
- being as fit and healthy as others
- eating the same as others and therefore expecting the same body shape as others etc...
Who makes up these rules and guidelines? Why is it a threat to you, when your younger sibling marries before you? Why is our self-esteem effected by a friend getting a job straight out of college, while you are still applying. Why do we feel this amount of TIME pressure?
I think comparing yourself to people around you distracts you from YOUR goal and your path, from keeping your eyes on your aim.
Tell yourself:
It's okay if I am not there yet. I work in my own time. I will get there eventually.
I truely believe this is true. Keep your eyes on YOUR GOAL. Go the pace that is comfortable to you. Don't put those expectations on you and talk down on yourself the way the world already does. You don't need that negativity, you need encouragement!
And when there is no one to encourage you, you can!
You know yourself better than anyone.
YOU ARE OKAY THE WAY YOU ARE !
Your slow-learning style, your deep thinking, your awkwardness it's all okay! Don't judge yourself. You cannot be against yourself, orelse you won't make it. The world already pulls you down enough. Someone has to be for you and back you up, and you can do this better than anyone.
:)
Tatiana xx
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